Children’s roles at celebrant weddings
No Children at weddings?
What are your views when it comes to children at weddings? Weddings are one of the most important events in our lives. It’s a time to celebrate love, happiness, and commitment with family and friends. However, when it comes to inviting children to a wedding, it can be a bit of a controversial topic.
For some, it’s a straight-forward NO! Understandably, many of you might consider children an unwelcome distraction; children can be loud, volatile and totally unpredictable.
Is it rude to have a child-free wedding?
It is my belief, as your wedding celebrant, that you should be free to design and curate your own bespoke wedding which is tailored fully to your desires and tastes.
Perhaps you prefer a more elegant, traditional wedding ceremony and if this is the case, omitting children from your wedding invites is the first step in ensuring you maintain your preferences.
Often, many couples choose only to permit children from immediate family to their day or babies that are too young not to be with their parents.
My role as your wedding celebrant is to listen, empathise and guide you through the process to ensure your wedding ceremony is authentic to you.
So what if you don’t want children and how to you go about broaching the subject with your friends and family?
How do you politely say no to kids at weddings?
When it comes to politely communicating a "no kids" policy, consider expressing it with warmth and understanding. You might say something like, "Dear friends, we're excited to celebrate this magical day with you! To ensure everyone can fully enjoy the festivities, we've decided to host an adults-only affair. We hope you understand and can still join us for an evening filled with love, laughter, and maybe even a few dance moves sans the kiddos. Thank you for your understanding and helping us create an unforgettable day for everyone!"
Remember, it's all about creating an atmosphere that reflects your vision while keeping the love flowing.
Children’s roles at weddings
I actually quite enjoy officiating wedding ceremonies where children are involved. In many cases, I have written wedding ceremonies for couples who have children from a previous marriage. In this instance, part of my role as the wedding celebrant is to symbolise the blending of two families often through symbolic enhancements.
In a recent wedding I officiated, the children were plentiful and I worked very closely with the couple to consider ways of ensuring the children felt like they were included in the ceremony. The groom had three daughters from a previous marriage so the eldest daughter wrote her own speech, the middle daughter was the ring bearer and the youngest daughter set up a glitter station to adorn the guests with a bit of sparkle after the ceremony. Meanwhile, the bride has three nieces so the younger two nieces helped with the glitter station and the eldest niece read a poem by A A Milne during the ceremony. It was light-hearted and poignant-exactly what was required by the bride and groom.
In addition, the bride’s godsons walked were page boys -complete with hot pink leggings, if you will. Quite honestly, what’s not to love about that.
Image taken from wedding of Laura and Mark at Pembroke Lodge, Richmond. Photo credit: @Joannabongardphoto
Children and symbolic rituals of celebrant ceremonies:
In many cultures, children play important roles in symbolic rituals during weddings. These roles may vary depending on the specific culture and tradition, but some common examples include:
Flower girls and ring bearers: In Western weddings, young children are often chosen to be flower girls and ring bearers. Flower girls scatter flower petals down the aisle, while ring bearers carry the wedding rings on a pillow.
Candle lighting: In some Christian weddings or during a Unity Candle ceremony, the bride and groom may light a unity candle to symbolise their new union. Children may be involved in this ritual by lighting smaller candles that represent the families of the bride and groom.
Blessings: In some weddings, children may be asked to give blessings to the bride and groom. This can be a beautiful way to involve children in the wedding ceremony and to acknowledge the importance of family and community.
Overall, involving children in symbolic rituals during weddings can be a meaningful way to include them in the celebration and to honor the importance of family and tradition.
Children’s readings at weddings
There are so many wonderful readings suitable for children to read during your wedding ceremony.
Of course, you want to ensure that the readings aren’t too long or wordy, no over complicated words or sentences. I tend to steer couples to authors like AA Milne and often encourage them to consider small extracts from children’s literature. I’ve even known children to make up their own poems which always go down a storm.
For more information, do get in touch. I have a bank of well known readings and some lesser known readings which suit a vast range of styles and themes and I would be happy to send these to you following a discovery call.
Considering children at your celebrant ceremony?
A celebrant’s advice on children at weddings:
First, consider your venue. If you’re having a formal wedding at a fancy venue, you may want to keep the guest list to adults only. However, if you’re having a more casual outdoor wedding, children may be more than welcome. Is there an area you can set aside for children’s entertainment. Consider a children’s creche or soft play set up, there are many companies out there who specialise on supplying children’s creche areas especially for weddings.
Next, think about the age of the children who may be attending. Babies and toddlers may not be able to sit through a long ceremony, so you may want to provide a separate area for them to play or hire a babysitter to watch over them during the ceremony and reception (see previous point.).
For older children, you may want to provide some entertainment to keep them occupied during the reception. Consider setting up a kids’ table with colouring books, puzzles, and games, or hiring a children’s entertainer to keep them entertained. Alternatively, be brave and think about how you could incorporate them into your wedding ceremony; did you know that in a celebrant-led ceremony, children can give you away! If nothing else, it looks fabulous in your wedding pictures.
Finally, think about the parents of the children who may be attending. If you’re close with the parents, consider their feelings and whether they would prefer to leave their children at home or bring them along. It might be the case, that some of your guests would actually prefer to leave their children at home and bring their party shoes instead!
If you do decide to invite children to your wedding, be sure to communicate this clearly on the invitation so parents know to plan accordingly. You may also want to provide some guidelines for behaviour, such as keeping the volume down during the ceremony and being respectful of other guests.
As your wedding celebrant, I would ensure that your wishes and desires would be communicated with your guests at the offset.
If you’re unsure of how I can help you as your wedding celebrant, do get in touch. Alternatively, read through some of my other blogs where I go into more detail about the role of a wedding celebrant and celebrant-led ceremonies Vs registrar weddings.
