Wedding Vows
Celebrant-Led Ceremonies
Michelle Park Celebrant-Wedding ceremonies in Leeds, Wakefield and surrounding Yorkshire areas.
First of all, if you are engaged and planning your wedding, then a huge congratulations to you! This is a wonderful moment in your life so if you can- stop, take a breath and really saviour the whole process.
Of course, planning you wedding and in particular, your wedding ceremony can be hugely daunting, especially if you are not a ‘natural planner’ or you don’t enjoy organising things.
When you book me as your celebrant, part of my service is to support, guide and nurture you through the process of planning your wedding ceremony.
I love offering my advice to couples who are planning their Yorkshire wedding ceremony and one of my favourite parts of the ceremony is the exchange of vows. So let me tell you a little bit more about how I can help.
Vows in a Celebrant Ceremony
When it comes to wedding vows, there is a real variation in the type of vows you can expect depending on where you get married.
If you are religious and choose to have your ceremony officiated in a religious building, you can expect to recite traditional vows synonymous with your particular religion.
If you have a registrar officiate your ceremony, then again, you are restricted to the limited formal wording authorised by your registry office and registrar.
Chances are, if you have found my blog, you are looking for something a bit different. You will find that all of the weddings I curate and officiate are highly personalised and bespoke. My aim is to make your wedding ceremony a fully immersive experience for everyone involved, using symbols, words and traditions that are personal to you.
Part of this process is helping you to create your own special, heartfelt vows which become a real key moment in your wedding ceremony. Your vows express your deep connection to one another; your devotion to being together for all eternity…in that moment of your wedding ceremony, they quite literally make time stop still!
How to start writing your wedding vows
The thought of writing wedding vows, for some people, is a daunting one! I really do understand that.
Maybe you don’t consider yourself overly romantic or particularly ‘gushing.’ I hear you. Even as your wedding celebrant, I tend to steer away from overly sickly and corny sentiments. Actually though, wedding vows can be so much more than that and even for the more reserved of us, writing your own wedding vows can be a surprisingly joyous experience.
Where to start though?
Well, remember that the purpose of your wedding vows is to pledge your love, promises and commitment to one another.
My advice- think back to the beginning and tell a little story. Where you started and how far you have come. You don’t have to make your wedding vows over-complicated or lengthy, if in doubt, keep it simple.
Most of my couples normally share a sentence of two about how their partner inspires them and what they really love about each other, then they finish with some promises; how you promise to move forward together and prioritise your relationship in the future.
Don’t shy away from silliness and fun, making your other half laugh with your vows can be wonderful (I promise to stack the dishwasher correctly, I promise to make your favourite tea, or I promise to put the lid on the toothpaste etc ).
That said, everyone loves a bit of emotion. When the sentiment is authentic and heartfelt, you can expect tears to flow from someone (and I’ll probably be clenching my jaw tightly at this point to maintain my own composure!). Embrace this; it’s the reason you are standing there with your loved one, in front of all your family and friends.
If you can, keep them a secret from each other, that’s also great. The surprise on the wedding day is one you won’t forget. Above all, keep it authentic to you. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or put on a show; be genuine and sincere and above all, enjoy your vows.
Overall, writing wedding vows can be a beautiful and personal way to express your love and commitment to your partner. Here are some steps to help you write your own wedding vows:
Reflect on your relationship: Take some time to think about your relationship with your partner. What do you love about them? What qualities do they possess that make them special to you? What experiences have you shared that have brought you closer together? These reflections will provide the foundation for your vows.
Decide on the tone and style: Do you want your vows to be funny, heartfelt, traditional, or modern? Consider the tone and style that would best represent you as a couple.
Start with a rough draft: Begin by writing down your thoughts and feelings about your partner. Write as though you are speaking directly to them. Don't worry too much about making it perfect, just let your words flow.
Edit and refine: Once you have a rough draft, read it out loud and make any necessary edits. Refine your vows until they accurately express your feelings and intentions.
Practice delivering your vows: Practice delivering your vows out loud until you feel comfortable with the phrasing and pacing. This will help you feel more confident if you choose to recite them during the wedding ceremony.
Consider incorporating a promise or commitment: Wedding vows often include promises or commitments to each other. Consider including a statement of what you promise to do for your partner or how you will support them in your life together.
Keep it personal and authentic: Remember that your wedding vows should be personal and authentic. Don't try to imitate someone else's style or use words that don't feel true to you.
How can I help with your Vows?
When I officiate your ceremony, I offer you all of my advice, support and guidance on all elements of the ceremony and this includes your wedding vows.
In the early stages of our planning journey, I’ll send your a questionnaire to fill out about you and your love story. Some of these questions have your vows in mind so without realising it, when you fill out the answers you’ll already be laying down the foundations of your wedding vows.
Once the questionnaire is completed we will organise some planning meetings. If you need advice on your vows, we may well organise a meeting or zoom devoted specifically to the vows.
I can guide you with the writing process and make it a fun and rewarding experience.
On the day, you might not feel confident to read your vows and that’s absolutely fine. Let me take the lead and I can read them for you. Alternatively, you may want to read a couple of sentences and then answer some promises which I will ask of you.
If writing wedding vows still feels challenging-I can write them for you. We can review and edit as many times as necessary. This is a two-way process and you very much are in charge; your wedding ceremony done your way.
I’m just privileged to tell your story.
